see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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