spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
