I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
