God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
