the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
