I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
As shirtless as possible
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
