He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
