I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
