do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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