Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
