All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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