just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
