ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he was CRYING into my vagina
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
