took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
