Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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