Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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