i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
