She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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