I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm at about main and main street
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
