just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
