at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
