the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize