I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
