now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
