Got a toothbrush?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you would pick up someone in the library
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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