Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
