Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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