I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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