just come out here and I will go home with you...
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize