chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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