Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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