Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
