I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
