Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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