And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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