Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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