i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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