nut hugger
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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