genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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