We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
