Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
