did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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