Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize