Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
