Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she peed on how many people?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
