Cold hands, warm shart.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
