id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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