you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
