it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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