so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
