I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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