my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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