Don't you send me to vm
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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