I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
