have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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