scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
