I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
