Plan B is the new Plan A
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
