Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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