I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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