If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Verdict: uncircumcised.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
