We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize