So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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