Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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