My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
