i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
